Release of Control
"When I first met Dick Robinson, he introduced me to the concept that as children we reach a point where we feel out of control of our surroundings. At some point in our childhood we experience an uncomfortable event that causes us to react with a dangerous response. For me, I grew up in a home that was void of any genuine love or compassion. Therefore, I resorted to “performing” duties, activities and accomplishments in order to receive the positive affirmation and recognition from my parents that I so greatly needed. I had the cleanest room, I “performed” chores around the house without being asked. I even ironed my own clothes as a young child in an attempt to gain the acceptance and recognition I needed. As you can see, this behavior pattern can translate into a real problem for an adult, especially a husband, father, friend and brother. I was trapped in a thought pattern that said "measure others by what they do and accomplish, not by who they really are”. This is a dangerous mindset for anyone, especially a Christian to have.
Dick and I laughed together as I gave him absurd examples of my attempts to control my environment. Dick asked me if I was having success in my life trying to control everything around me, and I responded with a sheepish “no”. Then, Dick challenged me to consider “releasing” control of my life and those around me to the Lord. Obviously, I needed some time to “noodle” his suggestion. Dick asked me to speak to Jesus about this issue, and ask Him 3 important questions (1) Do you love me? (2) Are you in control of your universe? And (3) will you take care of me? Dick asked that I really press-in, and suggested that I not give up until I received a tangible response from Lord. As you might imagine, this was a very tall challenge for a Type A, perfectionistic person. I wanted results, and I wanted them immediately. Needless to say, I was even trying to control this process, and God. What was I thinking?
Well, God did speak to me. It took several weeks of reading the Word, prayer, and meditating on the 3 questions. But I certainly received clear responses from the Lord. I was excited to meet with Dick again to continue the process.
When Dick and I met this time, it was for what he called a “Release of Control Ceremony”. There was really nothing ceremonious about it. We simply prayed together, and Dick led me through a process whereby I willingly released everyone and everything dear to me and placed them into the Lord’s hands. It was a truly freeing experience for me, and I am pleased to say that since that moment (over one and a half years ago) I have not made a single list!
Healing of Memories
I will tell you from the onset that this event was a very significant event for me. You see, I had always wrongly believed that although God is Omniscient (all knowing), I had really never thought of Him as truly being Omnipresent (all present). Perhaps I felt that because of things I had experienced throughout my life that He really wasn’t there to see it. This mindset had me trapped under a false belief of who God really is.
We opened the “healing of the memories” session by Dick praying that the Lord would take me back to a memory of some time or event in my life that had a significant impact on me. Within a few moments, I experienced a sensation as if I had been transported to another time and place. In fact, I could actually see and feel (in my mind’s eye) that I was in a child’s body. I soon realized it was my body as a young child. I don’t know any better way to explain it, but I was able to willfully walk around and explore my surroundings, and could recall the “exact” details (colors, carpet, furniture, artwork on the walls, etc.) of this moment from my childhood. Dick asked me to look at my surroundings carefully to see if anyone was with me. As I turned around, there stood Jesus directly behind me with outstretched arms. Dick asked me what I thought Jesus might want me to do. Immediately, I ran into Jesus’ arms, and He lifted me into the air as He embraced me. I could literally feel my body lift off the ground during this encounter! Tears of joy streamed down my face as I hugged my savior.
This was an experience in which Jesus brought me to a place in time where, as a child, I felt very lonely and abandoned. He showed me that He was really there with me and that I was never alone. This event was a revelation to me, and has provided a new perspective and healing of a wound that I carried from childhood into my adult life. I no longer carry that wound. This event has really changed my life. I now live in the constant awareness that Jesus is with me at all times.
I attended a charismatic church for several years, and had read a few books and received some light training in the area of deliverance in the past. However, I had really not thought much about myself being a candidate for this type of ministry. Like many others, I was of the opinion that something as extreme as deliverance should be reserved for extreme cases. Once again, I was incorrect in my thinking.
In addition to the control issue that I mentioned before, I constantly dealt with many other strongholds in my life. However, the main problem that lead me to consider deliverance as a viable ministry option for me was the fact that I had struggled with an addiction to pornography since I was a young teenager (I am now 38 years old). This was a real problem for me, and in spite of my repeated attempts to confess and repent this sin area of my life, it seemed to have a grip on me that I could not control. In fact, it would be accurate to say that “it” was controlling me. As you might imagine, this addiction was having an increasingly profound impact on my life. As a married man, I had trouble maintaining intimacy in my marriage. As a father, I carried the shame that my children would one day “catch me in the act”, or worse, they would become addicted like me. As a friend, I did not dare mention this to anyone for the fear of being judged. I was snared in the enemy’s net and I could not break free.
On the day of my deliverance appointment I had butterflies in my stomach all day long. I was nervous, fearful and eager for the outcome all at the same time. Dick lead me though an interview process to learn more about my family history and we discussed several highlights of my life. When the interview concluded, Dick led me in prayers of repentance, and then began “kicking out the demons”. Just so you know, I experienced no pain, discomfort, or manifestations during this process. After the process was complete I immediately joined my wife and friends at a restaurant for dinner to celebrate!
As a result of the deliverance, I have seen many changes in my life including freedom from an addiction to pornography. Because of this ministry, the Lord has enabled me to better discern demonic activity versus my fleshly desires. He has also revealed to me other areas of my life that have been in darkness that need more healing and restoration. Overall, I would have to say deliverance should not be considered as a spiritual “cure all” for all of your problems, but it should be a standard and ongoing part of every Christian’s life.
Adam, Woodstock, Georgia