God has been gracious to me and provided great spiritual growth over the last five years. I have grown to know much about Him as well as to personally know Him. God had placed great Christian's in my life, which mentored and discipled me, and I was starting to have God Himself speak to me on occasions. Gradually, my life became reordered as I moved from self centered to other centered in response to Christ's love for me. Instead of being a different person at work, home, and church, God tore down the barriers and greatly simplified my life and increased my authenticity. I started to see my place of employment as a place where there were people who desperately needed God. I also started to become more of the man God had planned me to be, more of the Husband he intended me to be, and more of the Father he planned me to be.
I was at a place of great passion and excitement for God, so when I heard of an opportunity to spend some time with folks who were really "in tune" with the Holy Spirit, my wife and I did not hesitate. We did not want to live a life that missed out on the blessings that God had in store for us. If it was about authentic and about God, we wanted a super-sized helping.
RELEASE OF CONTROL
When I thought about giving control to God, I thought that I had already done that. Of course God was in control. The creator of the universe is, and has been at the helm of the universe since before its creation. But the world we live in has a different message. The world says that you can do it yourself, that you can work harder and longer and make your life successful, comfortable, and easy. Without my knowing it, the world's mentality had infiltrated my thinking, and started to take control. I had no idea the incredible burden that would be lifted and freedom that I would experience from going through the release of control. One word that summarizes best the results of you trying to control your life is "STRESS" . Not only was the joy in my life compromised by this stress, but it also took its toll on my wife, my children, career, and other relationships, it also took a toll on my body.
I went to God with three questions: Are You really in control of Your universe? Do You really love me? Will You take care of me? , and during an early morning divine appointment, God showed up and answered my questions in a powerful, affirming, and personal way. He led me to Isaiah chapter 42 which spoke of his control, then, he told me that he loved me as if I were his only child. Taking care of me, came from Matthew chapter 6.
During the release of control, I realized how much I loved my sister, how much my children meant to me, and how small we are in comparison to God. I realized that I had fallen prey to the lie that we are in control. Releasing control was a huge step to shattering the illusion and gaining the freedom that comes from the truth. I saw how tightly I had been relying on myself for little things throughout the day, that amounted to a great burden and stress on my life. Now, I have new freedom. After the release of control, I found myself turning my whole days over to God during part of my morning routine. I acknowledge God's sovereignty and rightly turn the whole thing over to God, no matter how much I had planned them out,. Essentially, I started to make more room for God to work in my life. To release control and allow Him to bless me, the ways that he wants to bless me. I would ask Him to do with my day whatever he desired, to bring people into my life, phone calls or ideas that connected in amazing ways. I had one day where everything that I had planned fell apart, but God made some amazing things happen in other areas that I had not anticipated. This is now how I live on a daily basis. Overall, the stress in my life has been greatly reduced, and now I can live more fully!
HEALING OF MEMORIES
I have lived a very blessed life and feel that the Lord has watched over me and protected me from physically and emotionally traumatic events . So, when it came time for the healing of the memories, I did not think that there was much to heal. I was even a bit nervous driving to Dick's house. What if I could not think of anything that needed healing? So, I just released control, trusted in the Lord, asked God for his peace, and asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me where the healing needed to be done. That opened the door for God to work. Jesus took me to a memory that I had long forgotten, a memory that was linked to a subtle wound that had been operating just under the surface of many aspects of my life. I was brought back to my childhood and the origin of the wound. It was all so...real, the feeling of worthlessness, of shame, of letting people down, of not being loved. And, amidst the crowd of folks, there was Jesus! He had been there all along, and I just had not noticed Him. Amongst all of the downcast disappointed eyes, there was Jesus beaming with Love. He opened his arms, and I ran to him, Jesus scooped me up and hugged me! He held me like a prize possession, like I was his only son. This was true, unconditional love, that mattered not on my performance. Since that healing moment, I have felt more secure of my worth and love. It has mattered less to me of what other people think, and I strive more to glorify God, in his strength and to mirror the love that he has for me to others. The enemy was trying to cripple me and take me out of the game, but in Him I am a mighty warrior and am now more free to live for Him. Additionally, I have been very aware of how I love my own children. I try to love them as our Heavenly Father and Jesus love me. What a great joy to know that I am loved unconditionally and eternally!
I was not so sure about the whole idea of deliverance, but I had seen activity and behaviors in myself and others that seemed "out of character" at times. And Jesus spend so much of his ministry casting out and taking authority over demons. One thing that the Lord has implanted in me, is the desire to be free to live for Him. Reading "Deliver Us From Evil" helped me to see more of what was really going on in the spiritual realm. "Preparation for Your Deliverance Appointment" helped me understand about the appointment. I felt the Lord's anointing during the deliverance. I felt a holy boldness when renouncing the legal rights.
I was surprised at the "legal work" required for deliverance. My behavior patterns had opened up some doors for spiritual intrusions. Without knowing it, I had given demons permission to intrude upon my life. It was liberating to revoke their lease, and kick out these unwanted tenants.
Before the deliverance session, I had no idea how to separate tendencies of "The Flesh" from "demonic", however, after deliverance, you are just left with the flesh, so for the first time, I felt the difference between the two. The best that I can sum up the feeling, is that my thought life and spirit seemed "quieter", that I had a deeper sense of peace, and a sort of serenity. I still had urges of the flesh, but some of the urges seemed to be muted or greatly turned down.